Hard to Love!

“Those who are hardest to love need it the most.”

I’m sure you have heard that quote before. It’s been changed here and there and stated in various ways, but this original quote came from the thoughts of Socrates. I’d be lying a little if I told you that I sit around reading Socrates’ works for leisure, but I have read some here and there. It’s quite amazing to see how he, and other early thinkers, could put into words these thoughts we have today. I mean, most people think that humans were barely civilized prior to 1800, so B.C. times…..nowhere close. The truth is that some of the most incredible thinkers, inventors, artists, scholars, and architects of all time lived back then. But, that’s a discussion for another time. Right now, I want to talk about this love topic.

Obviously, Socrates had something right in this area of thought. This same thought has been shared and passed on repeatedly over the ages. Personally, I found this truth and experienced it working in my own life. The Bible is my “go to” source for life, so I want to share with you what God’s Word says about this love in Luke, chapter 6, verses 32-36:

^“32 “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. ³³ And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. ³⁴ And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full.³⁵ But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. ³⁶ Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.”

I have people in my life who are difficult to love. I believe we all do…and God probably places those people in our lives to help us learn to love His way. As Christians, we are commanded to love. We don’t have a choice….we have to love. We also have to forgive those who have hurt us…and that also is not a choice. The seriousness of the offense doesn’t matter; forgiveness is a requirement. This forgiveness issue holds many Christians back from experiencing complete freedom in Christ because failing to forgive someone isn’t only disobedience to God, but it’s also a choice to harbor bitterness and hatred in the heart. Sometimes, people may not realize how failing to forgive is negatively affecting them because it is subtle in their life. However, the negative effects are so obvious in the lives of others that everyone close to them recognizes it eating away at them like a cancer of the soul. Sadly, even the person in the first description will eventually arrive to the same destination as the second example if they don’t make the choice to forgive.

Who do you have in your life that is difficult to love?

Although I have a few of those difficult people, I’m only going to mention the one person that God put in my life who is an ongoing teacher to me. My husband. Yes, that’s right. He’s been in my life for twenty years now and he’s probably taught me more about love than any human.

My husband…the one who chooses to love me and be my life mate. When I was a little girl dreaming of the man who would rescue me and love me forever…well…it wasn’t anything like reality at all. In fact, I was dreaming of someone a lot more amazing and perfect–kind of like my true Savior, Jesus. However, I didn’t exactly understand all that back then. I guess a part of me knew that I needed saving, though, which is another topic for another day…it is fascinating to me, I’ll say. Back to my husband for now…

God doesn’t work in mysterious ways if you understand His nature. He tells us practically everything in His Word, but we have to look for the truth in order to find it. He does work in unique and different ways, certainly.

I’ve already told the story about Eric and I…the sweet story about his grandfather and all…so I’ll spare you hearing that again. Truth is, there’s a lot of bitter in our story, too; it’s not all sweet. My guess is that no married couple that’s been through a lot of life together has a completely sweet story. Life is bittersweet and, naturally, we all live it out individually…and together. Therefore, we are bound to hit some road bumps along life’s journey. 

Our sweet story has many chapters of pain, betrayal, tears, and rejection mixed in with the victories, triumphs, and beautiful moments. Through agonizing lessons in humility, God taught me to love despite pain. God taught me to trust Him more than my emotions so I could survive the seasons of marriage when loving wasn’t natural and appreciation was non-existent. When he was haunted by his inner “demons” and couldn’t be reached with words or loving embraces, God called me deeper into His Word where I was sheltered from the storms all around me. 

Through it all, we have stood strong and loving him is what I love to do, even if he is difficult sometimes…God knows I’m difficult, too, sometimes. That’s why He brought us together. Lately, I have appreciated him more than ever, probably, as I have been traveling through a season in which I am learning that we do reach a point in life where our beloved spouse is truly the one we cleave to…and they to us. At the end of the day….at the end of the rope….when you’re friendships are lost…when your familial relationships are torn apart…Well, God gave us our spouse to cleave to and love through the storms. I thank God for my husband and I thank Him for all the trials we have been through and conquered because our love has grown stronger through every experience. 

This is just one story, one example, of loving difficult people. 

This isn’t my most difficult case. It’s just the easiest one to talk about. Honestly, I have some extremely difficult people in my life, but God’s grace is sufficient and because my aim is to live according to His will and His commands, I choose to love despite the pain. I choose to keep giving despite their taking. I choose to give myself away in all these relationships so that God can use my life to minister to others. 

Choose a life of love and forgiveness. Honor God in your relationships by doing this because, ultimately, our life is for Him anyway….not about us or how we feel.

Do you have any “difficult to love” relationships in your life, people who are hard to love? Remember, those people have a purpose in our lives and God can use them to refine us. 

Love and blessings to all!